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hi, so… ("goodbye" post of sorts + tw)

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hi, so… ("goodbye" post of sorts + tw)

Post by Guest on Sat Sep 02, 2017 12:20 am

hi guys. im going to start this post off by clarifying that it will contain sensitive subjects such as self harm, self hatred, etc etc. If you are sensitive to these topics please do not danger yourself by reading on. normally id be very vague but i feel you guys deserve the complete truth. long story short, im taking a break. or at least withering my activity down quite a bit.
so, um... basically - im a wreck. im many other things but that describes me best. the reason i haven't bothered to check here in a week is because i physically cannot. it takes every ounce of motivation i have to get myself out of bed in the mornings. i hate myself, I really really despise my very being with this burning passion. my dad just escaped death and i still have nightmares over it and now my dog / best friend is dying and my friends are disappearing. granted, im not a good person, so i cant exactly blame them. anyway, i attempted something.. extreme a few days ago. i clearly failed. but my point is that im an unstable mess right now and i unfortunately have to put this forum at the bottom of priority list. im sorry. im sorry if ive ever wronged any of you. im sorry if ive said horrible things. im sorry if ive gotten under your skin. im sorry and thank you all for putting up with me these last few months.
tl;dr; im a hot mess and im taking a hiatus for my mental health

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Re: hi, so… ("goodbye" post of sorts + tw)

Post by Hazza on Sat Sep 02, 2017 12:27 am

It makes me proud that you are even saying this as not everyone can. It is important to realize what's important in life right now and focus on that stuff. Anything on the Internet should be after those kinds of things. Take all of the time you need away as nobody should be online when they aren't in the right place. I love you and even though I may not be as active as before, I am still around if you need anything.

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Re: hi, so… ("goodbye" post of sorts + tw)

Post by Lennon on Sat Sep 02, 2017 12:32 am

Oh my gosh, Hope...I am so sorry this is something you are going through and that you've been going about this all alone (or so it seems). As someone who lost a very important person 9 months ago, I can certainly relate to some of the pain you are going through. When someone hears that what happened to my relative occurred almost a year ago, they expect you to be back to normal. But I can say firsthand that that's not the case -- not at all. It still feels like yesterday. I can still feel the anxiety. I can recall every second of that day. I still have the whole in my heart. Of course, time does heal some wounds, but I will never be the same.

My point is, even though they are different circumstances, I can understand a little bit of how you are feeling, and how you are going to feel.

And don't ever say you aren't a good person, because that simply isn't true. You have always been exceptionally nice to me and everyone else, at least from what I've witnessed.

In regards to your taking a leave of absence, that is the least of anyone's worries. The most important thing is to focus on feeling better and taking some time for yourself. <3

For those that say mental health is a sham or stupid, they could not be more wrong. The mind is the most powerful tool any human is given, and keeping it healthy is incredibly essential to your well-being and happiness.

I wish you all the best and hope that you recover soon. <3 If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to ask.
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Re: hi, so… ("goodbye" post of sorts + tw)

Post by andromeda on Sat Sep 02, 2017 2:04 am

i'm so sorry to hear this;

i fully understand your pain. I myself, along with my whole family have survived death and it is the hardest thing to cope with; it plays on your mind and it never leaves you alone; my entire family knows this.

I'm so incredibly sorry about your dog. I can't imagine how you're feeling about this.

Doing extreme things is never the answer. I've done it myself, been there all before and its the worst thing you could do. It doesn't help, it doesn't end the pain, it passes it on. Please look after yourself and talk to people <3

ill always be there if you need me

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Re: hi, so… ("goodbye" post of sorts + tw)

Post by Guest on Sun Sep 03, 2017 2:41 am

thank you all for your kind words. id reply individually but im not up to it.

as of 2:41 am this morning ive decided ill be deleting my account or having it deleted. goodbye and thank you all again for caring.

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Re: hi, so… ("goodbye" post of sorts + tw)

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